With America’s somewhat obsession associated with the single black woman, numerous articles and studies have recently presented themselves to the media. While browsing the internet the other night, I ran across an interesting article title ‘Top Ten Reasons Why It’s Hard to Date A Black Woman’ by Matthew Lynch.

READ MORE for my response to the article…

Of course I immediately clicked on the article out of sheer curiosity. Already on the defense, I attempted to allow Lynch to ‘speak his peace’ (although he already had), in hopes of hearing a few valid points that I hadn’t heard before. Of course I had heard most of them from various news specials and bash-a-black-woman articles.

The article was sparked from a documentary by Erik Gordon entitled ‘Why Do Black Men Date White Women’.  According to Lynch, Gordon’s angle was to ‘pack up his camera and microphone, trek the streets of downtown Atlanta and boldly ask willing black men’ the infamous question ‘why do they date white women’.

While Gordon featured the 50 answers from the participants in his documentary, Lynch only listed 10 in his article.

Ladies, presenting the men’s response on why it’s hard to date black women.

via blackstate.com

1. Black women make black men feel under-appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
9. Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle in white America.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.

As a very proud black woman, it’s easy to get upset when a black man complains and somewhat ridicules the existence of black women. Initially, my first response is ‘dumb a#*..your mom is black”. But that’s an easy, un-educated response.

Instead, I can’t help but consider if some of these complaints are valid. I don’t know about you, but sometimes my attitude can be less than inviting because I’m on the defense partly because of articles like this; slightly a contradiction, but nevertheless valid.

At times I can be aggressive, because I’ve become accustomed to fighting and having to prove myself as a double minority: black and a woman. In addition, I haven’t mastered the art of submission, but maybe that’s because I’m careful of whom I submit to; and thus far no man has shown me that he’s ‘man enough’ for my submission. So those arguments presented by black men may hold some truth, but for good reasons.

However,  I gravely disagree with the majority of the complaints listed. I am not a gold digger because I work too hard to be self-sufficient. I take pride in my appearance and believe that I’ll  possess this characteristic far beyond my 20’s and 30’s. In addition, the reason I may expect too much from a man is because I plan to give a lot as well.

Still, while I know a high percentage of black women who are the exact opposite of these arguments, I also know a few who may possess some of these characteristics.

But this isn’t who we all are. This is only a small percentage of black women; and just like any race and gender, there are a few good catches and a few bad. Why do black women seem to get pinpointed and criticized more than any other group?

At this point, we can only love ourselves and hope that our REAL black men love us as well. Until then, it still feels good to be a black woman.

We are strong, self-sufficient, and desirable. In addition, there are still black men out there who want to date (and marry) black women.

Ladies what are your thoughts?

Discuss ..

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